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VOICE OF THE FENS SINCE 1902 Internet Edition - 4th February 2006 |
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NATIONAL NEWS |
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FURIOUS PROTESTS BY ACCOUNTANTS Accountants across the world were out in force yesterday after the newspaper publisher Beacon-Artist published a diagram depicting its "Profits for the second Quarter 2006" "This is scandalous" remarked one Tarquin Wetherby who was amongst the crowds that gathered for the main British demonstration in Hyde park "good accounting forbids such early predictions of profits and losses for the quarter". Police reported no arrests but the crowd became quite rowdy later in the day, especially after a catering van nearby closed up due to running out of Jeroboams of Dom Perignon. Slogans such as "Beacon-Artist you will pay! Black Tuesday is on its way!" could be heard and more militant demonstrators waved placards threatening to "Devalue" their "f*****g stocks". |
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The head of the Beacon-Artist group, which publishes several newspapers and journals including "Compressed Air Review", "Classic Doorknob" and "The Real Ale Twat" quickly jumped to his company's defence. In a statement he declared "Such predictions were made on the back of the sound advice of trained market analysts with years of experience in the field". Many, however, saw this as a damage limitation exercise and calls for the group to climb down and retract their "Ill-considered" diagrams with a full apology have steadily increased since the demonstrations. |
Accountants protesting yesterday. |
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