THE GUN - THE ORIGINAL VERSION
Book 3: Bridge Action/Revenge
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This story is not quite as stupid as number 2... just! Its set in England, apparently, instead its just an empty, flat, grassy place that could be anywhere, and surely England would be a Wolf Force stronghold and the enemy would not be able to set up any bases there, oh well, onto the story... |
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It starts off with a very flimsy-looking bridge over a small river/stream which a Tank is on, someone in the tank says "New troops coming", and someone else says "Drat", what is this... Wacky races/Stop the pigeon? (And I thought I was lazy, re-using characters, at least I change their hairstyles), anyway, a 'futuristic' (curvy) lorry with huge wheels pulls up and someone says "That carriers ok", well I imagine if a tank could cross the bridge a lorry could. Gunn gets out and meets Jackson, from the previous story, he asks if she remembers him and she says "How could I forget?", well, I dunno! |
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Suddenly, some guy gets shot and loads of blood sprays out the back of his head, he says "Glab", it's a change from Urg I suppose. Someone intelligently notices that "Emny" boats are approaching, and everyone starts shooting at them, then the Tank fires a shell and one of them blows up. But "The other boats still in" and the gunner on it shoots a few Wolf Force guys with powerful bullets, now its a "Job for Sergeant gunn!" He was promoted again? He starts shooting at the enemy, ignoring an explosion mere inches from his arse, and shoots the gunner off the boat, though the gun on the boat is belt-fed and only had one bullet left, whereas the third boat, which looks more high-tech and dangerous, hasn't even been touched yet. Gunn dramatically says "Grenade", presumably The Gun is voice-activated (an overdose of the Judge Dredd movie?), he blows away the second boat, and the high-tech third one finally fires back with a huge cannon that blows the whole bridge away, great! |
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Gunn survives but has lots of cuts and bruises, so he can wear "hard" bandages later. A medic asks if he has anything broken... uh, you're a medic, that's YOUR job! The M.A.S.H (I imagined that was some universal name for army medical facilities after seeing some of the TV show) truck is in the background, and it looks truly ancient, like world war 1 technology, complete with a huge radiator grill cap and giant mudguards. The next page is a new story, following on from that one called Revenge. Gunn is flying along in a weird-looking plane, towards a sort of pier thing which is presumably where the boats came from, someone on it says "Wolf force are approaching", then there is a giant explosion. Captions explain that One of the wolf force planes was... A plane, and the other was a big missile flying next to the plane, which eliminates the need for the plane if you ask me. Gunn turns around and thinks he spots a Survivor, who looks oddly like the driver of the boat Gunn blew up, who should be dead! He shoots at Gunns jet plane with a pistol, and by some miracle actually hits it... in the exhaust! This makes the plane start to crash, and the Landing Gear jams for some reason, so Gunn does what you usually do when the Landing gear doesn't work, land the plane on its side! It explodes (logic finally catches up with the aircraft of the comic) and the bad guy chucks his gun up in the air to celebrate, then notices a shadow around him, yep, Gunn is on a parachute! The bad guy gets kicked in the nose, and Gunn picks up the pistol and bravely shoots the unarmed guy in the back as he runs away.Gunn celebrates his victory and doesn't notice a UZI coming up behind him, then someone goes "Drop your weapon Mr Gunn, I do not believe we've met", which is a truly idiotic statement, considering how the story ends. Now Gunn is in a hut, with two rifles and a bomb that is about to go off. He falls over and one rifle, with a bayonet, flies around the room (the edges of the frame are the edges of the room), and miraculously comes down bayonet-first onto the ropes at the back of the chair he is tied to. A dramatic representation of the timer appears in the frames as he struggles free and runs for it, with 2 seconds left! The hut explodes and he hits the deck, but then knife comes down and lands in front of him, so he stalks away going "Stealth force, prepare to die!" yeah, like you can take on a whole army with one knife! One bad guy is standing guard at the plane, when there is a rustling noise (are there hedges? none can be seen), before the knife ends up in his back. Gunn gets out the 'Black box' and opens it, The Gun is inside! Then a motorbike and a guy on foot come up, the guy on foot looks stupid, he has pig's hands and a huge strap on his helmet that covers his mouth. Gunn shoots them all and they are dead, the guy in the sidecar on the bike has a bullet hole in his visor and blood all over it..cool. Gunn takes the bike and drives off. |
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Now it's sunset as he approaches the base, and shoots the one guard. He rides on into the base and sprays bullets everywhere, most of this is a close-up of the ammo counter, when it runs out it says "Feed me", which was ripped off a contemporary Durham Red comic in 2000AD. Gun goes "Dam" then notices he has killed every single enemy in the base (didn't they think about shooting back). Someone comes up behind him and drones "Remember when you nuked that island and got attacked by a plane I was the pilot I SURVIVED BUT NOT WITH SOME DAMAGE". He has loads of scars to prove it. Meanwhile, Gunn is pulling a SWORD (!?) out of the back of The Gun, is that thing like the tardis inside, holds 200 bullets, loads of gas, petrol and small bottles, 10-odd different kinds of grenades AND a sword!, and its not much bigger than a small machine gun like an MP5. There is a dramatic small frame saying SHING! With a bit of blood at the bottom, probably ripped off the 2000AD strip of the time named Outlaw. The guy has the sword through him and says "Urg", like the best of them, as Gunn walks into the sunset going "Now I know you're dead". |
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